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The natural and fundamental aspiration of a single man is to cease this state and find a loving woman, who will make both a great wife and wonderful friend. If that is true for you, make sure your aspirations are accompanied by the deeds! There is an old joke about a man coming to the temple every day and asking G-d in his prayers to help him win the lottery! He has done so for many years, every time praying with heat and passion and at some point the angels became so touched with those sincere prayers that they addressed to the Lord: "Why donīt you let him win this lottery!?" and G-d said: "I donīt mind allowing him win it, but he never bought a lottery ticket!" Action is required to change things in your life and especially if we are talking about finding a life time partner. Be sure that He wants you to "win the lottery", and all you have to do is create the room for His mercy. At "Mordinson" we help those people who have decided to try finding their soul mates outside of their own towns and countries. This is true for both men and women, but of course the change is bigger for the ladies, because they are the ones who actually leave home to live with their husbands abroad. However the duty of a man who marries a woman from another country is to make sure that the transition goes as smoothly as possible and she is well taken care of. Of course there will be nostalgia, one man who moved to the US from Ukraine approximately 15 years ago said that nostalgia lasts for about 1 year until a person goes back to Ukraine for a visit and then comes back to the States! On the way back to the US one would usually say: "Ok, now I am heading back home!" 20% of the love that you have in your marriage depends on a person who you got married with and the 80% depend on the things you do to each other every day. The reality is very different from what they show in the movies and write in the novels, you don't "fall" in love, you actually build it up! The term "love" or "falling in love" is often misinterpreted and used to describe something we would call amorousness. People mistakenly expect the relationship to create the love by default, simply because they once found it each other very attractive and charming. Only the couple that realizes clearly the route of love has a chance to maintain it for long time and actually bring it up to a new quality level. There are so many "little" things people can but don't do to please each other simply because they believe it's not so important. Being kind and appreciative towards each other is a major part of strategy for success in the family. There is a very old saying: "A smile and no milk is better than a glass of milk without a smile". If two people are indeed interested in creating a home together- they must work together to make it happen and eventually the process of upgrading their love will become the main reason of their existence. Husband and wife who canīt live without each other is not a "myth" or a cliche. It is possible to achieve, you can achieve this with your future wife, but itīs a challenge and a tough one. Truth to be said, many people decide not to take that challenge when they get married. Those usually get divorced. Building a home together is unlike anything else in life, it requires energy, efforts and dedication, but this is one cause that is worthy of the efforts!
by Michael Mordinson more articles by this author
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Kharkov, Ukraine |
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